Every cloud...

I suffer from anxiety. It sucks. There’s no other way to say it. I have come to accept it for what it is, and with the aid of therapy and medication I’ve come to manage it.

If I get a common cold or a simple ache I convince myself I am about to die. It sounds so easy to deal with but when you’re short of breath, sweating, panicking and your heart feels as if it’s about to erupt from your body it’s a different story. However this post isn’t about me…it’s about you. If any of this rings true with you then please don’t despair, if I can manage then so can you. It won’t happen over night but it can be done. Just don’t give up.

Deal with it in whatever way works for you. Cry, scream, eat junk food, watch crappy tv. Whatever helps you to get through each attack, and gradually over time you’ll come to realise “you aren’t going to die”. Everything will be ok.

This brings me to this image. I have recently had a cough which then developed into a cold. The cold cleared but I was still left with the cough. I panicked. Why did I still have a cough? What if it’s more than a cough. What if it’s lung cancer. For me nights are the worst because I have nothing to keep me occupied. Nothing to stop my brain playing tricks on me as I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

This was a particularly bad attack. Mindfulness and deep breathing weren’t helping so I resorted to my safe zone…landscape photography. I find the drive helps as I need to focus my mind, giving those evil little gremlins less of a hold.

Ninety minutes later I randomly find myself at the coast on one of the years highest tides. I’ve actually been after this shot for ages and I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out. There’s always room for improvement in my world though.

Anyway enough rambling. The point I’m trying to make is that even when things seem their darkest there’s always hope. If you’re suffering and have no one to talk to then message me. I’m certainly no expert but if I can help then I will.

Copy of Thornham coal barn